My selene

25 Aug

There it is again, the strong feeling that clings (CLINGS) to you, if I close my eyes I imagine this did not happen and that we are okay, and happy, how is it that you’re still there when the other left, how is it that you seem to not care but still I percieve something on the contraire… I love you, I really do, I’m not clear in what way but I feel tied in some way, all the memories of what was, of what happened, the part where I can’t forgive myself for not trying hard enough, I should be happy by now, but I’m not, there’s still this, the feeling, me wanting to be close enough to take care of you… God please take control, I know I’m not confused but you know the times and only you know what’s happening inside, beneath this image I long for the right thing to happen, something that would clear up my path, why did I let him cross between? why do I still cling? I don’t want to stay away from him, he’s my friend, I don’t want to make the same mistke I made before… pushing him away is not the solution but he is so different now, I barely recognize the man who showed me what I was worth, please fix us, fix whatever’s happening here for I don’t want to make desitions that I might regret in the future, because I know that whatever I decide is going to be permanent, he’s a good guy, he has a big heart I know it… my heart is divided, and I can’t think straight, I hate this, I hate this… I will sing praises, I will kneel before you because you are mighty, because of what you have done for me, because of what you are doing now, I thank you lord for the blessing of the word, that I can now speak freely and share it, please lead me to the right path and take away whatever is stopping me, your will be done in my life, because only you want good things for me, what I want is some selfish desire to be satisfied, but if you may let me be happy and keep him I would be most grateful, in the name of Jesus, set me free from my bindings and any blind folds so that I can be free and see your glory in my life.

 

amen.

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